1. post-valentine stuff

    A friend of mine asked me today, what do I think about love? you know, after all the up and downs that happened in my love life. I was stuck for a while, thinking of a perfect answer to answer before making me sound like a cynic.

    Obviously, my answer won’t be “love is everything, lalalalala”. That’s kind of cliche ? Yes ? No ?

    One thing that I always always believe no matter what,

    Love makes your life better. if it doesn’t, you may consider to stop thinking it’s love.

    Basically, both being single and being in relationship have their pros and cons. The thing is, true love always makes you feel better but love is not always true. I, my self, just ended a relationship. God knows why. I just conclude, if you can’t love someone in a right way, not only you making your partner feel “not better”, you make your self feel worse. Then what’s the point of being in love?

    Same thing happens when you’re in love, you want to share the joy with your relatives.. or ask for advice if something happened. But if there’s no way you can share in the first place, because nobody can’t know. You might as well just be single and enjoy life, unless there is again what I said True love.

    Eventhough people say, “Love needs sacrifice.” You’re selfish if you just expect the good things from someone” it is rather true. why? When you love someone, it is fair to ask your lover to dress up or do something you want to see sometimes. But not all the time. because then, you change an individual. You don’t love the person the way they are. You just love their imaginary look. But you will be surprised how many people out there, feel the need to be somebody they are not to make somebody happy when sometimes it’s not even affecting and not asked. But you thought it was.

    Afterall, I believe there should be a space for understanding each other and learning to accept weakness of each other. But only, if you let it happen and willingly willing to work things out. 

    Another perspective about “love needs sacrifice”. How many people out there you see willing to let themselves be miserable and suffer “in love”. Trust me, it is the same classic reason of using that “love needs sacrifice” as an excuse to bully themselves… they refuse to let go and move on.

    I should probably emphasize, I am not a cynic. I am normal human being and still capable of loving a person. I don’t suggest that you should easily give up on love, but do it rightly. Be sure of the time, and the right person. Know what you want. It’s weird how you convince somebody that you love them and next seconds you tell them you are confused with what you want. Apology, can’t always be solution. Maturity is much more needed. 

    Ask your self “am I ready to be in love anyway?” , may help. I know many people who would have done anything for love, in the end not only they lose their love, they also lose themselves. or maybe make others lose their love too because being in love suddenly seems ridiculous? 

    In my previous post, I talked about not wanting to be the reason of him being unhappy.. same thing goes for me, I don’t want the person I care about become the reason of me being unhappy. Simply, it doesn’t work that way.

    Ladies and gentlemen, my friends, what I’m trying to say is, it is worse to lose your self than to lose someone you love. Because after all the things that happen, you ONLY have your self and if you have lost your self in the first place, what do you have at the end? You don’t want that to happen to your self.

    I might not be the love expert, but I know that we shouldn’t be naive and sacrifice our selves for something that might not be true. Yes I know, when you have your attentions to somebody, everything seems true.. but really,really take sometimes alone and ask your heart what it says. You know when you know it. Even if you refuse to admit you feel or not feel true love, deep down only you know.

    With true love, you only realize and understand how beautiful your life is with this additional person around you comparing when you are alone. 

    Just believe, that.. Being in relationship can be as astounding as being single.

    With the right person, at the right time, in the right way.